i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize