the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
