At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
oh god the rape fog is back!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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