he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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