she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
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Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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