dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
