Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
