He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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