doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
