Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
