don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
