He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
