this just has baby written all over it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
