I am midnight drunk by noon
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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