one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
