So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
