somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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