Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
