Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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