That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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