I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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