just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
