Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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