I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
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There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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