I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
