Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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