I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize