that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
