Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
