smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize