There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
