she looked like the before picture.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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