Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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