i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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