if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
