I love black thongs
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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