to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
