i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.