you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
