hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
