If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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