i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
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we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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