First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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