Tell her she can't have a vagina
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
