So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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