"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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