is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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