some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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