Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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