I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
