I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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