I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
