Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
