Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
