He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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