i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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