summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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