i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
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Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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