i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm passing your future prison.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
